History
by Shadowy Star
Summary: If you’re given a second chance, would you take it? Or would you still walk away? Reincarnation fic. DxG, others


**History**

by Shadowy Star

August 2008

Disclaimer: I don't own the Coldfire trilogy. It belongs to C.S. Friedman. I do own this story. Do not archive or translate or otherwise use it without permission.

**A/N: **If you're given a second chance, would you take it? Or would you still walk away? Reincarnation fic.

**Chapter 1**

**Welcome to Wherever You Are**

_Maybe we're different but we're still the same_

_We all got the blood of Eden_ _running through our veins,_

_I know, sometimes it's hard for you to see_

_You're caught between just who you are and who you want to be_

_If you feel alone, and lost and need a friend_

_Remember every new beginning is some beginning's end._

_Welcome to wherever you are_

_This is your life, you made it this far_

_Welcome, you got to believe_

_That right here, right now,_

_You're exactly where you're supposed to be_

_Welcome to wherever you are._

_(Jon Bon Jovi, "Welcome To Wherever You Are")_

* * *

The air was still summer-warm that day in early autumn but sometimes the wind would bring a sharp taste of the chill yet to come.

The wide expanse of grass beneath the trees that surrounded the 'Jaggonath High' was dotted with groups and couples of students, sitting or lying on the ground or leaning against trees, all of them enjoying the warmth as long as it lasted. The afternoon lessons would soon begin and it was now or never to copy the homework quickly or to read just that one part you always keep forgetting when you need it most or simply to chat with your classmates you've been missing during the summer holiday.

The autumn term had begun two days ago.

"Hey, snap out of this, whatever it is!" a cheerful female voice rang in his ears.

When Damien di Chiari failed to react to that voice appropriately, it earned him an sharp elbow into his ribs.

"Ouch!" he said and turned finally to look at Cianna Blackwood, the owner of said cheerful voice. "Ci, what was that for?"

Cianna gave him a radiant smile. "For being all broody on this wonderful day, of course."

Damien frowned, only mentally of course, because doing it openly would probably earn him more mistreating of his ribs. Cianna, and Senza, her twin brother, were his best friends right from the kindergarten and something of siblings to him he wouldn't have otherwise. In fact, they were nearly his only friends. He was lot of popular among their classmates and knew it but when it came down to friendship he was exactly what Ci had once accused him to be – picky.

"I said," that came threateningly, "snap out of it!"

Damien redirected his attention back to his best friend and saw Senza approaching them.

Cianna waved at her twin. "Senza, come here and help me with this stubborn friend of ours! For some reason he insists on ruining my mood!"

"Stop that," Senza said to Damien and Cianna grinned triumphantly, "because if you won't it would to be me to deal with her for the rest of the day and you wouldn't wish that upon your best friend, would you?"

Cianna's grin vanished at that. "Men!" she made, rolling her eyes. Then, her face brightened as she spotted a tall, slender rakhene girl passing by a few yards away. "Hassetha understands me, even if she's rakh! Hassetha, over here!" she called. "I need your help with some stupid males!"

Hassetha glided towards them with catlike grace, her colorful rakh-style skirt reaching down not quite to her knees and revealing much of her very strong, very unfurry legs. Her top, however, was loose-fitting and hid everything a male could possibly find interesting from view. She would have passed for human if not for her long, pointed, catlike ears peaking up through her short golden brown hair. She grinned almost predatorily, her also golden eyes shining as they settled on Cianna.

"Males are stupid by definition," she remarked.

Only Damien registered the slightest echo of purring in her voice. _Interesting,_ he thought but kept his silence.

"What did they do this time?" the rakhene girl inquired.

"Sticking together as usual!" Cianna tried to suppress her laughter.

"That's normal," Hassetha assured her. "It's because only in a pack they can dream to match a woman."

Cianna burst out laughing.

"A refreshing view on half the populace on Erna, rakhene or not," Damien said finally, trying to apply a certain look he knew Hassetha could find unnerving. Unfortunately, the rakhene girl seemed to be quite immune to that look. _Suppose I need more practice,_ Damien thought almost cheerfully and smiled.

"Oh look, it's working out," Senza said to his twin, grinning.

Thankfully then, a bell-like sound rang through the air, indicating the end of the break and the beginning of the afternoon lessons, and saved Damien from his friends' further attempts on cheering him up.

"Did anyone read that chapter in the history book?" Senza asked hopefully.

"What chapter?" Cianna asked, visibly panicking. "How I could forget that?"

"Perhaps you were occupied with something?" Damien suggested slyly. "Teasing your poor best friend for example?"

"I wasn't…! Oh just shut up!"

"Chapter three, 'On the Forbidden Forest'," Hassetha said hastily. A furious Cianna was an experience no one was eager to relive. "Our homework. Did _you_ read it?" she asked Damien.

He shrugged carelessly at that.

"I thought so much!" Cianna exclaimed, waving an accusing finger under his nose, well, somewhere at the middle of his sternum but the location didn't matter. For someone so small Cianna could be very … scary. "For that you never read history books I just don't understand how you got that good at the subject."

Again, Damien shrugged it off. He was used to be asked that or something like that once a week or so.

"How fortunate then that history classes are second on our program," Hassetha said. "I won't help."

"Oh, _please_," Cianna gave the other girl a heart-melting look.

_That_ was a look, Damien decided, Hassetha wasn't immune to. Not in the slightest.

"Only when Senza helps with math," she proffered without even trying to resist.

Cianna nodded enthusiastically. "Anything for you," she teased, and again, only Damien recognized the look in Hassetha's golden eyes for the hurt it was.

Sometimes, it was so hard to fit in here. Sometimes, it was so hard to act like he was seventeen when instead he had experience of a lifetime. Though having a seventeen years old body was definitely a plus.

Yes, there was a reason why he was _that_ good at history.

He remembered.

What was history to his co-students – was to him past.

He couldn't tell when exactly he'd begun to know things he shouldn't. To him, it was like he did that right from his birth which of course, hadn't been the case simply due to the development of a child's brain. So maybe the memories started surfacing when he'd been in the kindergarten. Those were little things at first, like knowing how to make a knot that wouldn't loosen until you want it to. Like knowing the name of a useful plant and what it could be used for. Like knowing how to make a tent from leaves and dry twigs. Perhaps meeting two people he knew in his previous life had triggered those memories. He smiled faintly at the memory of himself learning Cianna and Senza being twins. He never explained to them just why he'd found it so very amusing.

When they'd gotten to high school Damien had met even more people he used to know in his previous lifetime.

Hassetha had been the first to meet them and something of a surprise to Damien. Evolution had done its best to make the rakh human-like. Only human-like, not human, had been his first thought as he'd met those golden eyes for the first time. No, certainly _not_ human.

He'd recognized others by then, some he once had known and some he hadn't. When he met two of Hassetha's male rakh friends he'd had a fleeting impression of having met them before. It had taken some time to place them correctly.

Others weren't that hard to recognize. When he'd met Sesyri in class, who was always called Sesa by everyone, he'd smiled at her. It was reassuring, somehow, to know the poor girl had got another chance on a happy life.

When they got to the classroom, the mathematics teacher, Mes Jenda Gales, was already there. She was talking to a boy with black hair that fell down to the middle of his back. He stood with that said back turned to the entrance door so the friends couldn't see his face. That, of course, only ignited their curiosity, which they unfortunately couldn't satisfy for Mes Gales was already giving them a stern look.

They sneaked quickly past both teacher and boy and headed for their seats.

The twins had, of course, seats next to each other. Damien had his seat next to Hassetha's for two grades but at some point the rakhene girl had stated he was too smart for a male, and taken a vacant seat close to the window. Damien had understood her need to be closer to the trees and open places when the rakhene equivalent to puberty set in.

"Welcome to the autumn term," Mes Gales said with a smile. "Anyone not here?" At the collective shaking of twenty two heads, both rakhene and human, she nodded. "And before we go on with the fascinating algorithms of infinite series I want to introduce someone. Here's your new classmate. He's a transfer student from 'Faraday High School', and his parents only recently moved to Jaggonath. Anyone, this is Gerald da Silva."

Damien was already watching the newbie –as was anyone else– when the name fell.

He concentrated hard on a point on the blackboard just behind the boy's shoulder, a map symbol for desert from the previous lesson on geography.

_Don't be stupid,_ he told himself, forcing his face to maintain an only slightly curios expression. _A name doesn't mean anything_.

Still, he couldn't help but give the newbie a curious look when the boy greeted the class in a calm voice.

The other was of an average height –which meant he would reach with the top of his head to Damien's chin–, with that stunningly black hair that made his pale complexion even paler. His eyes were a light shade of gray that made Damien swallow at the sudden lump in his throat. There was no way this could be a coincidence.

When the new student went to his seat –the last vacant one, in the second row two seats to the right from Damien's position– Damien searched the gray eyes for some sign of recognition.

He averted his eyes quickly when there was nothing.

Damien forced his thoughts into a resemblance of order. Of course, there would be no recognition. What had made him think Gerald –and he had no doubts the boy was indeed the reincarnation of Gerald Tarrant– would recognize him? Still, the thought the other didn't possess this, well… 'recognition sight' as Damien had come to call it, hurt. Wasn't that what they were here for? A second chance? If not, what was the sense in it, in him being able to recognize his former acquaintances and friends?

The rest of the lesson passed in a flurry of familiar sounds – voices of his classmates, the teacher's voice, questions, answers, scraping of chalk on the large blackboard, pages being turned, pens on paper… Later, Damien couldn't have told what the lesson was about even if his life depended on that. He could remember taking notes automatically, writing down equations and logarithms, even answering something that seemed to satisfy Mes Gales, and not even noticing the curious and slightly worried look the twins exchanged with their rakhene friend.

He was proud of himself that he'd managed not to stare at the black-haired boy. One or two looks surely didn't count.

"What's wrong with you?" Cianna whispered, leaning over, her words covered by the relative silence of the classroom.

"Nothing," he shrugged it off. "I just need some fresh air."

Of course, Cianna, with her sharpness that even death and a new incarnation couldn't cure, wasn't convinced at all.

"Poor newbie," she sighed dramatically. "Come on, you're usually of a communicative type if you put some effort into it."

"The transfer student has nothing to do with this," Damien replied. Unfortunately, _that_ was the wrong thing to say.

"We'll talk later," Cianna whispered threateningly. "And don't you dare run off!"

_Oh boy, I'm really in trouble this time,_ he thought as he met Cianna's inquiring eyes when the class ended and the five minutes break began. _In so very much trouble_.

To escape this, perhaps, or to show this had nothing to do with the newbie or to prove something to himself, Damien made an unusual decision.

He stood, and before anyone of his friends could say something, walked to da Silva's seat.

The other raised his head from the history book he'd been reading and Damien had to put some effort to keep his expression of curiosity steady when those gray eyes meet his.

"Welcome to 'Jaggonath High'," Damien said lightly, keeping a tight hold on his emotions and succeeding only due to experience of a lifetime. He even managed it well. "I apologize for the mass of questions you'll be subjected to right after the history class. The only reason my fellow students aren't pestering you right now is most probably because they're too busy reading their homework text."

"I noticed," was the dry reply.

"My name's Damien di Chiari, by the way."

"Gerald da Silva," the other said.

"I hope you'll find it nice here nonetheless and if you have any questions feel free to ask me. I'll be glad to be of help." Oh, damn, he didn't really intend to add _that_.

"Thank you for the offer but please don't bother."

Only politeness was in the even voice, nothing more.

Damien let nothing of his disappointment show. He should have expected that. The times when Gerald Tarrant had admitted to need help could be counted on the fingers of one hand. Somehow, it was even familiar and comforting.

"Bye, then," he said and couldn't help to give the other a slightly challenging 'We'll see'-look.

"Bye."

And there was a slightest frown on Gerald's face, and Damien felt suddenly a little bit relieved. Even if Gerald didn't remember his previous life, the personality seemed not to have changed much. He realized he was smiling only when he walked over to his friends and saw an absolutely shocked expression on Cianna's face. Behind him he heard some of his classmates introducing themselves.

"What?" he asked, somewhat annoyed, sitting down.

"I can't believe it," Cianna said, her blue eyes huge with astonishment. "I'm still speechless."

"No, you aren't since I can hear you talking," Damien pointed out dryly. "Are you suggesting I'm having hallucinations?"

"No, but maybe _I_ am," Cianna still sounded a bit shocked.

"Why? You yourself said I should put more effort into being communicative," Damien couldn't help smirking just the slightest bit.

"Never thought you could be _that_ communicative," Senza added. "It's somehow strange with you, you're not shy or something, you're just–"

"Selective," Cianna completed, "when it comes down to friends and past small talk on the weather. But what happened to you right now?"

Mercifully, Mes Faith Benning entered the classroom just then, and Damien sighed quietly in relief.

"Good afternoon, students!" the teacher called, smiling widely.

"Good afternoon, teacher!" Sesyri answered from the last row and it indeed was saying something when the usually shy girl dared something as disrespectful as this.

"Ah, someone who didn't forget how to great a teacher properly!" Mes Benning was almost grinning. "Very well, Aldon."

Damien grinned as well. He enjoyed Mes Benning's relaxed teaching methods. They were so very different from the Church's ones he remembered. Though he always had to be careful. It wouldn't do show more knowledge than a seventeen-old should have.

"Well then, today's topic is such as fascinating an object of Erna's past as the Forbidden Forest. Does anyone here know what I'm talking about?"

_Vulking_ _Hell,_ Damien thought but had no other choice than to raise his hand because Mes Benning was looking directly at him, clearly expecting an answer, and clearly indicating she knew he had one. He was some kind of her favorite student, after all.

"Di Chiari!" she said, clearly pleased.

"The Forest wasn't called 'Forbidden' right from the start," Damien began. "It was a large area of temperate broadleaf and mixed forest that never was researched and mapped exactly until the end of the Revival Epoch if you don't count the maps done by the seed ship before the Landing," he said. Of course, he remembered the quality of Gerald's maps. "Though few of them survived the First Sacrifice and were available at that time."

Mes Benning smiled proudly. "Very well, continue."

He did as he was told. "In the last days of the Revival, when the Church of One God was merely on the rise, the whole Forest started changing. Three years after that the name 'Forbidden Forest' appeared on every map in the East."

"Ah, excellent, I see someone has been reading the books I recommended to."

Damien looked at the newbie but couldn't see any reaction to this lesson's topic beside that of a interested student.

Mes Benning then went to explain the way how the Forest was changed and Damien stopped listening. He'd got _this_ information first hand, so to say.

The lesson went on quite uneventfully, and when the tasks to be performed due tomorrow had been given, Mes Benning ended it with a cheerful 'Goodbye, students!'.

"Goodbye, teacher." Senza this time.

"Well, I was 'putting some effort' into this," Damien remarked to his friends when they left the class for the last break this day, before the literature class. "After all, I felt ashamed for my classmates since no one bothered to greet the new student in the first place. That was simply rude."

"You're right," Hassetha said. "I'm ashamed myself but I just got distracted," she explained.

Damien happily took the opportunity to redirect Cianna's attention.

"By what?" he asked innocently, and said best friend turned her blue eyes to Hassetha curiously.

It was really a shame the rakh still weren't able of blushing.

TBC…

**Extra Notes:**

(1) I usually don't write high school romance but the idea to see them dealing with something as ordinary as puberty and not with saving the world for a change was just too tempting. But don't worry, there'll be still enough problems for them to face.

(2) Yes, I changed all the last names and most of the first ones (Damien and Gerald being the exception plus one you'll meet later) because the chances for them all being born around the same time _and_ getting exactly the names they had in their previous lives are approximately zero. I left, however, as much unchanged as I consider realistic for you to be able to recognize them. If you have any problems with seeing who's who in this, just tell me and I'll try to clear the confusion.

(3) Yes, this is set some time in Erna's future. Don't worry, I'll tell you everything in time. For now, it's enough to know that it's a mixed school with both human and rakhene students. The reasons for so much tolerance will, too, be explained later. No, it's not a perfect world fic.

(4) Since this is a reincarnation fic, their characters are somewhat different from how they are in the books. Part it is due to different backgrounds, and part due to the fact they are teenage. Someone seven_teen_-years old wouldn't act the same way a seven_ty_-years old one would. Still, their past live experiences influence them –someone more, someone less– even if they don't remember.


End file.
